Some NYC Confidence and Eat All You Like

I am thinking about going for a run but leaning towards not bothering.

I want to go for a run because it is a few days since I went and I know that if I don’t keep it up I will grow a large belly, be unattractive to my wife, unfit for work and suffer destructive self-confidence issues as a result. I am leaning towards not bothering because I think I will be able to pick it up another time with little loss of fitness and enjoy the evening pursuing more subdued activities such as watching films on T.V.

And eating some of the grub I prepared last night.


I have a theory (gleaned from way too many popular science books) that my behaviour can generally be explained through the fact that I am, biologically, a higher form of ape and that all of my decisions must be advantageous for the evolutionary development of my species. So, if that is correct, it would be better for me to stay fit enough for a long life of child rearing (and perhaps even grand parenting). I should go for a run.

On the other hand it may be that the continued exposure as a poor athlete in the Central Park arena and the possible looks of derision from those who have far greater prowess will seriously disadvantage my genetic line as no one will ever want to marry my children for fear their own offspring might turn out as knock kneed as me. I should stay and eat.

In any case I appear to have made my mind up to go. I think the balance has favoured the former motivation (that I need to retain my fitness). I also think it is unrealistic to imagine someone interrupting me to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage regardless of my athletic ability.

Sister number two who recently abandoned me after a short spell doing my housework often says that she runs so she can eat. This doesn’t make evolutionary sense though. You run to be fit for life, you eat to have the energy to run. Not the other way round. She is far too human, not enough animal in there I reckon. Needs a proper sized burger (note for Johnny Utah).

Nevertheless I certainly need to run if I am to maintain the eating required to fill this blog with tales for your enjoyment.

So I run in order to blog about food?

What is the evolutionary advantage of blogging?

Answers on comments please.

Fitness is one of those things that is hard to achieve and easy to lose especially when you eat the amount I do. But if I am worrying about whether or not I might not ever enjoy grand parenthood as a result of exposing my averageness, I probably should look up from the ground now and then.

In Central Park there is every kind of runner. Disabled, elderly, mums pushing prams, fat, thin, bow-legged, short-legged, half-hearted and full blooded athletes. They don’t seem to care. Confidence is huge in New York. They really have overcome all of the hangups evolutionary instinct may have burdened them with. It’s a sight to behold. Human beings running for their own reasons and not giving a damn what anyone else thinks about it including Charles Darwin.


2 thoughts on “Some NYC Confidence and Eat All You Like

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